Got this email today - as di many other. It was addressed to "undisclosed recipients" as many spam emails are.
The grammatical errors are hilarious - not well written for the attempted threat that it proposes, but great for comedy.
Here is the email:
Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.Federal Bureau Of InvestigationJ. Edgar Hoover Building, 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
Attention,
For your information, we have been authorized by the President Barrack Obama to get everyone who is involved in money laundering and terrorism; this was as a result of what happened by a Nigerian man with reported links to al-Qaida tried to blow up a US airliner with a new type of explosive device Friday before being tackled by passengers in what officials said was an attempted Christmas Day terror.
Now your name has also been included in the list of terrorism and money laundering because you have been taking this matter for granted but now we have started taking our legal action because no one is above the law and we can not allow anyone to bring shame to our country, since you have decided not to cooperate with us by furnishing us with the required certificate, we have therefore forwarded your name and information including your picture to the office of the Presidency as he required and right now he has warned us seriously and ordered that we should get everyone arrested and charge them to court immediately because this is not a childish play.
The best you can do right now is to forward to us the certificate that is FBI Identification Record, Tax Clearance and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) so that we can forward it to the President and tell him that you earned the fund legally and not a money laundering or for sponsoring terrorism because this is what we are going to charge you of course you know the penalty and our government will not tolerate it any longer. For your information, you have only 3 working days to provide it otherwise you will be arrested immediately and hand your case file over to the presidency.
The ball is in your court, note that the person you will contact that will help you to get the certificate is Attorney David West an attorney from HOMELAND SECURITY SERVICE or the Executive/Chairman of HOMELAND SECURITY SERVICE Mr.Bennie G.Thompson. we are now back and ready to take up this case to any level because we won't seat down and watch foreigners not only citizens to involve in illegal action, especially in money laundering and terrorism act.
Be warned and don’t fail to get back to us immediately otherwise you will hear our knock on your door with hand-cuff, on your return to this message, we are going to confirm the email address of Attorney David West so that you can contact him for the issuance of the certificate as soon as possible.
We look forward to hear from you today.
Thanks for your Co-operation.
Director Mr.Robert Mueller. WASHINGTON DC Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C. Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
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Steve Hoffacker - Consultant, Coach, Author, Blogger, Photographer, Motivator, Teacher, & Strategist - for Realtors, Real Estate Sales Professionals, Home Builders, New Home Salespeople, Entrepreneurs, Small Business Owners, and Independent Sales Representatives.
© Steve Hoffacker, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
Hey, wait a minute, I didn't get this one! I especially like the otherwise you will hear our knock on your door with hand-cuff remark. Hysterical!
Steve, this may sound like profiling but you don't look like a terrorist...But I'll leave that up to the "Fbi".
I havn't got that one either!!! Please oh please send it to me!!!
Steve, your must need to send me all you identification or might haves to arrest you :)
Steve - If you do go to the slammer, I promise to send you some cigarettes.
Steve
I'm going to need to see your papers.
Good luck and success.
Lou Ludwig
Cynthia,
This was just so funny I had to share it. :)
Steve
Steve,
Thanks for your vote of confidence. :)
Steve
Chris,
Isn't this great? :)
Steve
Jon,
We needed a good laugh. :)
Steve
John,
Thanks. :)
Steve
Lou,
I'll have to look for them. :)
Steve
Well, you had to know it was coming, you wild subversive, you. Don't worry, I've already started knitting you a scarf with a secret pocket -- as a matter of fact, it's in the mail. Yeah, that's right, the mail. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
This message will self-destruct in 12 minutes.
Steve,
It seems like most of them in some way tie to Nigeria.
Tish,
Love it! Thanks. :)
Steve
Steve,
That does seem to be a common thread. Thanks. :)
Steve